Blotches

It's just gone nine o'clock in the morning. I should be at work! But . . . I've got blotches.

Blotches. A rash I used to get quite often when I was a kid. Big patches of raised skin in random shapes from just a couple of inches in size to great big landmasses that cover my entire arse or back or belly. This morning I'm covered from head to toe. My eyelids are swollen and my lips look like Mick Jagger's. It's not itchy so much as warm and sensitive. Which makes it sound like something Speilberg would film, but it's not that interesting really. Then again, he did AI so maybe he would.

When I got it as a kid Mum would whisk me away to the doctor's. He would examine me, say "Um" a lot and pack me off home with a bottle of medicine. I had some this morning, and that lovely minty taste just melted away the years. Hmmm... Piriton.

What causes it? Search me. The doctor's opinion was some sort of allergy to a foodstuff, maybe strawberries(?!), but that's never really stood up to close scrutiny. Stress was also mentioned as a possible factor, and one I'm more inclined to go with. I've had blotches three times as an adult, and both the previous occasions were presaged by highly stressful events. The first time was after a motorcycle ride around north Wales with some of my brother's mates, who all had quick tackle while I was bouncing around and tying myself in knots on a soggy Kawasaki GT550. The next day: blotches. The second occasion was discovering the Friendsreunited website. Oh dear.All those dark memories of being an awkward teenager, the loneliness and of being a square peg in a round hole surfaced . . . in blotches. If ever I needed a lesson in the power of the mind then this was it. Dwell on the past for a couple of hours and whumph, blotches. No coincidence, surely.

Still not sure what's sparked this bout off. I can't think of anything obvious, beyond the every day hassles of getting to and from work with the aggro of what lies in between, so maybe it was something I ate.

Now then, when did I last eat strawberries?