Spoke to a Human Resources officer at work. The government, mindful of redundant pottery workers like myself forming a human scrapheap, are pumping money into retraining. All well and good. And I was paying attention up to the point he started talking about interview techniques:
"So, let's say, you're going for a job at Tescos. Go on the Net and find out as much as you can about the company first. How many outlets they have, where they're opening new stores and suchlike. Then, on the day of the interview, get there an hour early and have a wander round. Talk to a few members of staff, visit the cafe. Get a feel for the layout.
"Do all this so that during the actual interview, when the interviewer asks why you want to work there, you can reply that the company made X billions of pounds profit last year and you want to be a part of that drive; that they have recently opened another store in Basingstoke which is dead impressive; that you love way the the delicatessen is organised and that even the coffee in the cafe is just right!"
The Human Resources officer leaned back, beaming.
Oh God, I thought. If I need to spout bullshit of that calibre just to get a job stacking shelves in Tescos, I may as well give up now. Ask me what I'm doing there and I'll tell em I want some money. "I won't nick stuff, promise. And look, I'm tall enough to reach the top shelves without a ladder. Gizzer job!"
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