My mate Gerard sent me a couple of his demented Nursery Rhymes, which he has submitted for publication. I was pretty imoressed and set out to have a go myself. Below is as far as I got. It's doing my bloody head in. Please, if anyone should so wish, feel free to add/finish it off.
Humpty Dumpty bought a hotel,
(Formerly called the Bates Motel).
An all-round good egg, this tale is sad,
For who would have guessed, Humpty would turn bad?
There checked in a female guest,
In need, she said, of plenty of rest.
Humpty gave her the key to Room 3,
Rushing off to use the spyhole in 3B!
Rumpy pumpy was not on the cards,
Tumpty tumpty da da dada (this line escapes me)
So chagrined he was, to find his view marred,.
By a curtain and steam as dense as brocade. (not sure about this either)
‘Damn and bother!’ He rushed to Room 3,
‘I will sneak in, she will see nor hear me.’
At the hurry-up, tripping on a towel,
Humpty gave himself away with a howl.
Lady maybe, but no fool was her,
She whisked him up, with a loofah.
Till all the best cleaners and all the best staff,
Would never get rid, the soufflé in the bath.
3 comments:
Hey Mike
I would love to help you with this but I'm just about to leave for the airport and this will be my last look at the computer until Monday. So far it's very cool though. Keep working on it!
Maybe just cut the entire verse starting "Rumpy Pumpy..." and try a different one from scratch. This seems to be the only bit giving you trouble. A clean slate may bring new inspiration.
The last line is pure evil genius.
Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.
Gerard
I will do as you suggest and ax that verse. But not just now, I can't believe how much "URGENT" crap has dropped in my lap these last few days (would you believe a MAJOR revision of Kasper Clark is noew required?). I don't even have the time to update my blog properly, let alone give my brain over to "tumpty tumpty da da dada". Which is probably a good thing!
Just seen this post and I have to say whaaat? ANOTHER revision of Kasper Clarke? Jeez - I thought it was great two versions ago! Good luck with that. Just remember, "This too shall pass." (it's in quotes because I didn't come up with it but I'm fecked if I can remember who did!).
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