The Light Knight submitted

This evening I saw a new listing on Ralan.com, for a new mag called 'Forgotten Worlds'. Looks seriously smart, pays pretty well and it's British. Accepts electronic submissions too, so despite having made the grave error in the past of submitting a story too soon, I've gone and sent them 'The Light Knight Returns'. I literally did a quick read-thru-cum-revision, adding a coupla hundred words in the process, then attached it to an email and pressed SEND before I could change my mind!

If impatience is a sin, then boy, I am gonna burn.

The Light Knight Critiqued

The following will mean nothing to those who have not read 'The Light Knight Returns'. And may well not interest those that have.

Well, it's been a week in Critters, and 'The Light Knight Returns' has attracted . . . well, modesty forbids me to say just how well it's gone down with the few people who bothered to read it. What can I say, I'm a giant in the field of English literature. I got about ten crits, which is less than I expected. BUT the quality of the crits was amazing. It seems as though, as the writing was tight as a gnat's chuff and typos rarer than rocking horse shit (you are the only one to spot a tyoo, GB), folks dived much deeper into the story, and came up with some interesting points.

As far as the actual storytelling is concerned, I have changed the POV of the opening scene to that of Tommy, the more important of the two main characters. I've tweaked the barbecue scene slightly (with added popcorn) and bolstered Tommy's roleplaying prior to his suicide so that it includes a religious flavour, as one reader thought (and I agree), his subsequent 'resurrection' came out of the blue. Another alteration is the killing of Steve Ellis, aka the Pike. I've rewritten the ending so that rather than have him killed in a revenge attack, the Light Knight merely teaches him a harsh lesson. Poetic justice, rather than cold-blooded revenge. It is what a true superhero would do. I'm still undecided about this. So much so, I've retained my original ending on file so I can always revert to it. Oh, and something else that confused readers was the boys' ages. So I've made that concrete in the opening lines.

Other excellent ideas I've yet to incorporate are having Tommy sleeping with the curtains open to recharge from starlight, and acting as though he is physically weaker by day and going everywhere with his battery backpack a la Light Knight. I loved that idea.

Going deeper, the last critter wondered whether my theme needs tweaking, to pinpoint where its focus lies. Ellis aka the Pike is the archvillain of the piece, but he's a single thug and not representative of the world in general, and so the ending, as solidly written as it is, might actually not be a natural conclusion/destination. To clarify that, Tommy defeats the Pike and then decides he will use his new God-like powers to protect animals the world over. I think this is what my first critter was saying, really, that Tommy/the Light Knight taking up the mantle of animal protector is not really that well signposted. His feud with the Pike stems from the incident where the Pike is killing frogs, but is that enough of a seed, in story terms, to say that Tommy is a champion of animal rights? I thought it was. I thought an eight year old boy standing up to a massive thug over some frogs is a sure sign that he's an 'animal person'. But it looks like I need to make a few adjustments.

So that's that. Well, there's a lot more ctually, but you're bored already, I can tell. Aye, a few more hours of work and maybe I'll have something to send off to The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction.

I wish.

This is the pic that will grace the cover of the eagerly awaited (by me, anyway!) Butcher Shop Quartet anthology. There's talk of a montage, featuring the four writers involved -- Boyd Harris, Clinton Green, A T Andreas and myself -- going on the back cover. Nothing definite, but I hope it comes to pass. My pic on a book: now that would be cool.

My writer's copy of Twisted CAt Tales arrived today, and I must say Coscom know how to put a book together. And Esther Schrader did a great job with the editing too. When I first saw the number of contributers, I was a little nonplussed. There are summat like 35 writers in here. But a random dip has proved that (a) the stories are quality, and (b) they are all reasonablt short and sweet. All in all, a book I'm very proud to be in.

Web design

I mentioned, oooh ages ago, that I was embarking on a course of web page design. Well, I started last week and today I completed assignment 3. That's 3 assignments in one week. 10 completes the course! But having scouted ahead, I see it gets much more involved than what I've been doing so far. It's pretty useful having a web-wise mate too, in the shape of Chris Hall. He's been checking my work, putting me straight on certain things. I think he enjoys playing teacher.

And while I'm on the subject, Chris is also in the process of giving my website www.mylefteye.net a serious revamp. It's stripped down at the moment, but when it gets relaunched in a couple of weeks time, it'll be a much darker affair than the previous incarnation.

Failed

Poor Jill. She's been gearing herself up for days now, all ready to take her driving test this morning. She's proper deflated having failed it for speeding. Speeding, ha! Way to go, Jill.

The New Cartlidge

So sister Helen became a Cartlidge. Well, she changed her name on marrying. She'll always be a Stone to me, I guess, just as she'll always be my baby sister.

 

The service was pleasant at Caverswall Church, if climatically challenged. I was cold in my thick woollen suit so how Helen, Jill and Heather felt in their flimsy gowns, I can't imagine. Mark looked dapper, and when he said his vows I could tell he really meant every word. Intense is a good word, I think, to describe Mark's expression. Or maybe he was trying not to laugh. Both the bride and groom had a fit of the giggles at the rehearsal last week, but there were no such lapses yesterday. Helen just looked beautiful, as did my wife and daughter. But if I felt a warm glow inside it was lost in the cold.

 

At the reception both my dad and Mark excelled themselves with their speeches. Neither of them -- despite my warnings, I've been there -- bothered to write a few words down, and paid the price when Mrs Stagefright clasped them to her frigid bosom. Dad opened with something mildly amusing; everyone tittered, and then that was it for several long seconds while he desperately tried to follow it up. Poor sod, I felt for him. Mark, meanwhile, fell back on the old "My new wife and I..." gambit, which always gets a cheer. The food was pretty good.

 

The evening reception, complete with disco, was a huge success so far as Heather was concerned. She scampered off to the dancefloor and stayed there most of the night, only returning to the family grouping for sips of lemonade. A few people fell over, the worse for wear, while others watched and said silent prayers that it wouldn't be 'their lot' that let the side down next. The family Stone stayed upright, but that's cos we all sat in a corner nursing Cokes and lemonades. But, you know, I envied those that could relax and let themselves go on the dancefloor. They were the ones having the best time.

 

Three cheers for Mark and Helen! 

   

A Bit of a Do

My little sister Helen is getting married to Mark today. A great bloke is Mark (he reads fantasy and horror, what more d'you need to know?), and I couldn't be happier for Helen.

The whole shebang has been planned with precision, no room for error. Wedding is 2pm at Caverswall Church, a reception at the Tollgate Hotel, 4pm, and a bit of a do at 8pm, also at the Tollgate.

Jill is the matron of honour and Heather the bridesmaid. Should be some nice family pictures to take. I seem to have been elected the man with the video camera.

Battery charged? check. Spare battery? Tape rewound? check. Lens cap off?

TGIF

Know what the worst thing about being unemployed is? Not getting that "Yippee!" feeling on Friday afternoons. I miss that.

Morphs and Cannibals

The work-in-progress is 'La Grippe', which was a name for the influenza that ravaged the world in 1918/19.

I started this story thinking it was about two guys who, after demobilisation, travel Europe and kinda get lumbered with a beautiful girl who happens to be stricken with the deadly flu. That's how it started.

But the whole thing is morphing on me. I've got this tale taking shape which is more to do with the two friends coming to terms with their own post-war traumas. The girl is still the catalyst, but no longer the focus of things. Which probably makes no sense to anyone, but hey, I don't try to analyse these things. For me, this is exactly what makes writing great. You set out with an idea and make some attempt to guide it in the general direction you want it to take. Sometimes it follows the intended path and sometimes it wanders into unexpected terrain. I think I enjoy the latter more.

One of my first attempts at writing a fiction was called 'Ricochet'. This was rejected by WEIRD TALES magazine, but the editor was kind enough to tell me why it didn't make the grade. So I took the middle part and wrote a complete new story called 'The Emigrant', of which I am enormously proud, although I have yet to sell it. I then took the other half of 'Ricochet' and wrote 'The Devil's Fauna', another one I'm proud of. There were still a few bits left over so I used some of it in a story called 'Clob', and another passage went into its sequel, 'Japanese Motorcycle Clob'. I've just grabbed a leftover scene for the current work, 'La Grippe'.

Waste not, want not.

Not as simple as I thought

I received a folder full of learning material from ICS a couple of weeks ago, in relation to a webpage design course I've enrolled on. The disc didn't work -- it wouldn't install. I've sent to emails to the customer service dept and left a voice message on their phone service. No reply. That sucks. Really sucks. My union, UNITY, have paid for this, retraining me seeing as how I've lost my job. They've forked out nearly £400 and ICS can't even be bothered to sort out a poxy CD.

On a brighter note, I received a penultimate(?) edit of 'Kasper Clark' from the editor of BSQ. I'm delighted with the results. If the other stories have received as much attention as mine (maybe they didn't need as much attention -- now there's a sobering thought), then this anthologI is going to be the best thing that's happened to me, writer-wise. Can't wait to get my hands on a copy.

I've also completed a revision of 'The Uinta Incident' for WORLDS APART, utilising some of the techniques I learned from the BSQ editor. I'm proud of that story too.

I'm currently writing my influenza story set in 1919. As I mentioned in a previous post, I already have a 9000 word story with the required plot in my scraps folder. I thought I could use it as a template, changing the first person narrative to third person and distilling the dialogue. Not a chance. It's not as simple as it sounds. I've just scrapped the first 2000 words I produced on Monday and Tuesday. I'm starting from scratch. Writing Lesson No. 49967: There are no shortcuts. Do the work!

Lately

Graham Joyce is one of my favourite writers. If you've yet to 'discover' him, try 'The Tooth Fairy' or 'The Facts of Life'. You will thank me.

Meanwhile, read his blog (called Lately) at www.grahamjoyce.net His posts are often funny and always a great read. His most recent, "Sayeth the Fool", is no exception.

Happy Birthday, Jill!

A little quiz, just to pass the time of day.

Complete the following.
1. The ______ ____ Steps' by John Buchan.
2. WW2 started in the year nineteen ______ ____
3. Three times thirteen equals ______ ____

And that's that.

By the way, it's my wife Jill's birthday today. Happy birthday, lover!

She wishes to keep her age a secret. I respect that.

'The Uinta Incident' sold

I'm chuffed to report another story sale. This time it's my sf/fantasy crossover 'The Uinta Incident' that has found a home. I submitted it to CONTINUUM SF magazine before Christmas. The editor/publisher Bill Rupp emailed this morning to ask if he can take it for a new project he's launching (he doesn't say when, but I'm guessing it'll be 2007) called WORLDS APART. I've emailed him to ask what the payment and contract will be, but if it's the same as for CONTINUUM then I will be quite satisfied.

The asylum smells fresh

Ah, there's nothing like the smell of fresh paint and new wallpaper. Especially when someone else has done all the grafting. The decorators have left the asylum as bright as a new pin.

And as I have had to stay out of their way, I've spent a lot of time sitting at my PC mulling over a new story. After a false start or three, I think I've finally started to nail down my characters. It's called (for the time being) 'La Grippe' and it's about two very different ex-soldiers left with similar problems after the Great War. 'La Grippe' already exists in the form of an 8000 word story I wrote this time last year. But that version, as much as I enjoyed writing it, has never left my 'Scraps' folder. It was written for an anthology that asked authors to audition by sending in a previous work. I submitted my story 'Clob', and then, with uncharacteristic confidence, I wrote 'La Grippe' -- complete with copyrighted characters and settings -- for the anthology.

I failed the audition. 'La Grippe' was a white elephant. A writer's folly.

So I've ripped out all the characters, leaving just the basic plot behind and the occasional line of dialogue, and begun the task of weaving my two ex-soldiers into the framework.

Ah, the asylum does smell fresh.

Put the boot in

I've had all the stuff come through for my Internet course from ICS. How to build web pages. Actually, it came last week but I wanted to get all the decorating over and done with before starting it. Well, the decorators are still here but I'm no longe required so I thought I'd insert the disc and install the software. No go. The disc should autorun but for some reason it isn't. I tried going to the START menu, selecting RUN and typing 'd:\setup.exe' but that didn't work. I've explored the CD. but there doesn't seem to be any actual setup program on it. So, what do I do now? It seems a bit sad, not being able to do a course cos I'm unable to even intsall the software!

Simmering, condensing, distilling

The decorators have taken over the asylum so I've locked myself away in the bedroom. A day spent at the PC is never wasted though. I went over 'The Light Knoght Returns' yet again, changing this, that and the other. And the wordcount has fallen another 300 words. Hell, at this rate it's gonna be a piece of flash fiction I present to the Critters writers' workshop.

I've also had my first creative block . . . attempting to write a Father of the Bride speech for Dad. Sister Helen is getting married in a couple of weeks, and Dad has asked me to write his speech. I've been given strict instructions: no saucy jokes, no soppy bits, and no robots, zombies or werewolves!

"But Dad..."

I said, no."

He's being unreasonable.

Well done, Gerard

Gerard Brennan, whose contribution to the Badass Horror anthology I had the pleasure of editing, has won the Demented Nursery Rhyme contest held by Champagne Shivers. His entry 'The Trial' came first out of 200 submissions. That's no mean feat. So well done, Gerard!

Today I managed to find the time to do a healthy revision of my story 'The Light Knight Returns'. The bulky superhero, who weighed in at over 8000 words, managed to shed over 1k and now stands at a far trimmer 6900 words in his spandex tights. So well done, me!

Tonight I had the pleasure of watching U2 fans on eBay do battle for some old bits of vinyl I have. Several singles equals £105. So well done me, again!